Jesus Lord almighty (am I meant to also capitalize “almighty”? Does the Lord and Saviour get his adjectives capitalized?)
Sorry I’ve been gone for TWO YEARS. It took about that long to sign into WordPress again. (SERIOUSLY. Is it my computer? It can’t be this dope, superfast Asian Wi-Fi. Is it WordPress itself? [Who am I kidding; I’m too lazy to set up a new blog elsewhere.])
Anywho. Rather than doing that thing where I talk about how I should write more and how it’s been ages – which is probably the content of roughly 40% of all blog posts on the internet – let’s get right to it.
How to summarize my last two years? Well, I’m still in Taiwan, which I did not think would be the case. I’m teaching older kids so I have fewer adorable stories. Although here’s one, here’s one:
Grade 4 classroom. Most students speak fairly good English, but one girl (I’ll call her Joy) does not. Joy is only a little bit bigger than the stray cat who yeowls outside my new apartment, and she speaks about 10% more English than said cat.
Somehow the topic of cancer comes up. (I don’t know how; I forget. I’m a fun teacher; we talk about light-hearted things.) Some kids know what cancer is, and appropriately solemn looks cross their faces as they say things like, “Oh no! Cancer is so BOOO.” (#booforcancer)
Joy, ever the eager participant who doesn’t know what she’s even saying, bursts out, “Some people likes cancer!…Maybe.”
Well, we got a good laugh from that. Cancer: two sides to every story! (I can see the CNN panel now: a la climate science discussions, they’ll present it as an equal 50/50 argument. CANCER: so BOOO or not so BOOO?)
Anyway. What else? I’ve started meditating, and I’ve come to the conclusion there are two types of people who meditate. There’s the person who organizes “full moon goddess peace gatherings” and washes her hair with kale and won’t eat honey because she’s just that vegan and sounds as relaxed as if she’s getting a massage in a bubble bath when she has her most heated, tense conversations. And when you find out that person meditates, you’re like, “Well, of course; that makes sense.” And then there are a different sort of meditators (not a word; let’s make it a word): when you find out these people meditate, you think to yourself, “Yeaaaahhhh…. you definitely should meditate.”
I’ve realized I’m fully in the second camp of meditators.
I’m a potato. I’m a stressed out, anxious potato who drinks too much coffee.
Which is actually why I’m writing again (thanks, coffee!). I’ve decided to “temptation bundle” (which I learned about from a Freakonomics episode – the only thing keeping all my neuroses and fears company up in this brain are the hours and hours of podcasts I listen to) my coffee consumption. I’m going to go to a cafe twice a week – Tuesdays and Fridays – and write. If I do this, I can have coffee. That’s the rule.
What I’m saying is, I’m a fun, loose, spontaneous kind ‘o potato who goes with the flow and takes each day as it comes.
In travel updates, I have visited Malaysian Borneo, Osaka, Hong Kong (twice!), Shanghai, and the Philippines since I last wrote. They were all great experiences, and Manila is potentially the worst city on this planet. (I lost my passport there, so I’m biased.) I’m going back to Malaysian Borneo this summer, because I was only there for five days last time – I’m going for a month with….
Oh, yes. That brings me to my love life. I’m dating a gorgeous, wonderful, kind, hilarious boy who brings me immense joy and frequent laughter. I’m not going to say too much about it right now, because I’ve actually been making a mess of things with him lately. I don’t want to think about that too much. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, what’s wrong with people, that when we finally get what we want – what we’ve been dreaming of! – we get used to it, we get whiny, and we make a mess. But we’ve been dating for over a year, so I guess it’s at least a longish-term relationship at this point. (My longest. His, too.) So hopefully this is just one of the down swings in a series of changing circumstances that we can get through.
Anyway, the plan is that we’re going to Borneo together.
I think I’m going to get a teaching certification finally, because I am not getting any more sure of what I want to do with my life, and I keep teaching anyway, and I seem to like it well enough. And how stupid is it to paralyze yourself with thoughts of, “What do I like best in the world what do I like best in the world what makes me feel passionate and productive more than anything what is my calling,” so much so that you don’t like anything in the world and have no sense of self left. Decisions can be good.
I’m reaching the blog-post-length that ensures no one will read through to the end, so I think I’ll end there. I’ll be back on Friday, void! Good talk.